My First Christmas in Heaven

I saw this and thought of Jeremy. Of course, it's his 2nd Christmas in Heaven, but I think we were all in too much shock last year to acknowledge it. I think it's important to remember that Jeremy made it; he's with Christ. I miss him, but I am so happy for him! His dear and tender heart belongs in heaven, he was really too good for this earth. He is still alive in all of us that loved him. Let us honor Jeremy by giving a little more love, caring and understanding to those around us.


My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,
With tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.
This sight is so spectacular; please wipe away the tears,
For I am spending Christmas with JESUS CHRIST this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description to hear the angel's sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart,
But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear,
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with JESUS CHRIST this year.

I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above,
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is the gift more precious than gold,
It was always the most important in the stories JESUS told.

Please love and keep each other as my Father said to do,
For I can't count the blessings of love He has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas, and wipe away the tears,
Remember, I'm spending Christmas with JESUS CHRIST this year.

Based on poem by Wanda Bencke

New Day

Maybe the key to happiness is to realize that each day starts anew. It's usually not a gentle beginning or ending.Unless you know the difference from these pictures of sunrise and sunset you can't tell the difference. The day begins and ends in fire.
Getting through each day is like this. If you can just remember that the "fire" is temporary you can get through it. That might be the difference between people that get depressed and stay depressed and those who just experience life's highs and lows and get on with it. All pain and unhappiness is fleeting. If we don't let it rule our world then we can also experience the happy moments, which, of course, are fleeing also. Only one thing in life is constant and never-changing....God's love for us. If we could only focus more on that this life would be a breeze!

I found this awesome website. There's a new picture from the Hubble Telescope every day until Christmas. These pictures are so great!

Jeremy

This is the anniversary of the day our lives changed forever. I don't know that we'll ever heal. I still miss Jeremy so much. I think back to all the mistakes I made as a step-parent and wish I could erase them. I know Jeremy would not want me to be sad. I am so glad that Jeremy found the Lord before he died. Now I know he's waiting for me in heaven. I just wish the good Lord would see fit to take me sooner rather than later. I guess I must still have work to complete here. I want to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and prayers. I am grateful to have so many caring friends and family members.

I remember so clearly how beautiful October 15, 2008 was. It was a coolish/warm day with no wind. We been back from the Kentucky family reunion for a week or so. My grandparents, aunt and cousin had just went home from visiting. It was an Indian summer day. I decided to walk Belle on the reservation. I did not completely freak out when a snake almost slithered over my foot. I came upon a pack of wild dogs and scared them off so they didn't attack me and Belle. It was a good day. Then Sheila called in tears, "Can you go to the hospital? Jeremy's been in an accident and they are air-lifting to him UNMH and I want someone to be there for him." I immediately started shaking and my stomach sunk to my knees. I called Bo and Benjaman in from hunting down the wild dogs. We all rushed to the hospital, where they had no information about Jeremy coming. So we started the flurry of phone calls trying to figure out what was going on, where was Jeremy, how badly was he hurt, etc. Sheila said all she knew was that he was hurt badly and was on life support. It was all so surreal. Jeremy was so careful on his motocyle, he always wore his helmet, he was young and strong. So, Bo, Benjaman and I waited around the hospital. I kept thinking, Jeremy will be fine; he'll get through this; he's strong. I prayed for God's will, but please help Jeremy. Finally, the hospital staff said we could go back. But they didn't take us to Jeremy, they took us to a little room. They came for insurance information. They said he had landed in Albuquerque and he was en route to the hospital. Finally, after what seemed like forever, a doctor came into the room. We all stood. He told us that Jeremy's heart had stopped beating on the plane ride from Roswell. I waited for him to tell me that Jeremy was okay. But he said that they had done all they could, they tried to revive him for 45 minutes and they used every means possible. He told us that they worked longer on Jeremy than they usually do. Jeremy just had too much head trauma for his body to keep going. Jeremy's helmet had not saved his live. I just couldn't believe it. Jeremy was so young, so strong; he had his whole life in front of him and was finally, going down the right road. He had made peace with his childhood, his father and me. How could ths happen?! We were just beginning!

So then we had to make all the arrangments. At least this family, that had been fueding for 18 years, was able to come together. Everyone got along and comforted each other. I prayed Jeremy didn't have to die just so that we could all get along. I started looking for the meaning in his death. I still haven't found it. They said there is meaning in everything. I was touched by all the people that came to pay their respects. It amazed me how many lives Jeremy touched and that he had truly become a man right under my nose! I was saddened by all I did not know about his life.

Our family still has a huge whole. We will never be the same. Some days I do not want to go on living. I can't begin to imagine how Bo and Sheila feel. I pray for them often, as well as the rest of us that Jeremy meant so much to. How do you move on from the loss of a child? Every smile feels like a betrayal. What right do I have to be happy now? But then, I know Jeremy would want us all to live our lives to the fullest. So then I think, what right do I have to mope around? I just miss him. I grieve for the time I won't get to spend watching him grow as a man, become a husband and father. He would have been such a wonderful husband and father. He was so thoughtful and cared so much for other's feelings, even to his detriment. I just don't know where to go from here. How do we move on? How do we keep Jeremy's death from completely destroying us?

Summer projects

Quilted Raw-edge Applique Hot Pad - I drew and cut out the flower free-hand. I still have work to do. LOL!
Quilted Nine-patch Pillow
I added the zipper-it's my first zipper!
I re-covered the dining room chairs-finally! They have needed it for about 10 years! Once I figured out where the staples came out and what size staples I needed it went pretty quickly!

I didn't make it, but I found a great deal. I got this used leather love seat for $70. It has some scratches, but no major damage.

Bo installed a counter in my laundry room. Yay! Thanks honey!

2nd Annual SW Grapplefest, Rio Rancho, NM

The 2nd Annual SW Grapplefest in Rio Rancho, NM is put on by New Mexico Combat Sports.

New Mexico No-gi Youth division, 125# 4th place.

New Mexico youth division, 125# 4th place


Proud Mama!

Butterfly Afghan

This was a free pattern from Wal-mart. While I'm happy with the results, I don't know that I'd make another one. The butterflies are made separately and sewn on. It was hard to get them placed correctly!

Elk Camp 2009, Gila National Forest

Wordless Wednesday - 2 puppies, 2 much time!

What's for dinner tonight?

Well, in 6 months anyway! Yum, yum!

Front porch and sidewalk

The project for the last few weekends has been a front porch and sidewalk. Bo found a good deal on a cement mixer so he was able to pour the sidewalk this weekend. He mixed the concrete for the front porch by hand-not fun! Benjaman was able to help with the porch. Isn't it nice?! Bo also put some gravel just outside the gate so that won't turn into a puddle when it rains.

Puppies

The puppies sure are getting big! Trouble got spayed a few weeks ago and Rowdy gets neutered this week. They have finally quit fighting! Which is a good thing because they are getting so big! I think Rowdy weighs more than Belle! We'll see if Trouble sticks by Rowdy when he's in the cage!

Unexpected (and unwanted) visitor

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am absolutely terrified of snakes. It doesn't matter how small or big,poisonous or not, aggressive or not. I will walk through the hands-on room at the Natural History Museum, but if the snake is out, I stand in the doorway. I took Benjaman to the Rattlesnake Museum downtown and had nightmares for days. I hate snakes. Well, I was walking, with Cinbar, to the feed shed to get his food and there is this snake all stretched out and sunning himself by the chicken coop. I heard the echo of my scream before I even realized I had screamed. Of course, then I was embarrassed because I try not to scream when I see a snake. Bo comes out with the gun because he knows just by the scream it's a snake. Here he comes to save the day; my knight in shining armor! I watched, amazed, as he catches the snake and holds it up to look at it! Then he starts walking towards me! He didn't realize he was, really, but he wanted Benjaman to get something to put the snake in. We put it in a box and then in the well house. I don't care if it can't get out of the box, no snakes in my house! We quickly get on the internet to identify the snake, just as we always do for any unknown pest, and determine it's a Blackneck Garter Snake. It's big for it's size and has exceptional markings; it also gives birth, in August, to up to 20 live babies! Great... The next day Amber and David are out for a visit. Bo sends Benjaman to give the snake some water. Well, David's running the water and Benjaman's watching the snake, with the lid partially open. I look outside and see them poking around in the weeds. That's right; they lost the stupid snake! Apparently, Benjaman watched while the snake went from corner to corner tasting the air and he just jetted out of the box! At least there's been absolutely no sign of the snake or babies! Bo had called the Natural History Museum to see if they wanted the snake and just as he got off the phone Amber had to tell him that the snake got away! Oh darn. The Museum didn't have room for another snake anyway. I have to admit that this snake was beautiful and not aggressive at all, but just looking at the picture and typing the story makes my skin crawl! Bo says it's all in my head, but try as I might, I really can't control it! It's so involuntary! Anyway, here's a pic of the snake for all who are interested.

Trouble got fixed

Trouble has been spayed. Rowdy gets to wait another 2 months. Poor Trouble doesn't know what to think about that stupid collar!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Ben eats a fish...almost

Rough Day

Enough said!

The Great Flood of June 2009